Black Ghost

Hello! This is a very interesting prologue you have, though I think it could do with some adjustments. Here are some thoughts - all this is my personal opinion, so ...

Hey scasha! Here's your review. ^^ It's somewhat of a line-by-line, but without the quotes. I'm trying to cut down on quote boxes because then it makes the actual critque ...

It seems like a start, although I'm sure you could develop this a lot more. ^_^ It's also awkward in some places, but I'm sure you can fix that by ...

Hey! Welcome to YWS! I don't know if you read the rules, but you should review at least two other works before posting one of your own. ^_^ Just remember ...

Very interesting concept for a story! :D The idea of having no feelings and whatnot, it seems like a very original idea to me. ^_^ But I did notice a ...

Um... Cirque Du Freak. I only read the first one, but seriously, it sounds like it was written by a nine-year-old. :? And everyone I asked was like "OMG IT'S ...

It's an interesting start you've got, though it's not without a few flaws. ^_^ For example, you use way too many adjectives, especially in the first sentence: The foreboding shadows ...

Unlike the first review, I didn't think that the repetition of "Mister moon" in the first stanza was very good. It seemed like a lot, and it was very distracting. ...

You know, I would think it would have been a better idea if you had worked a little harder on this before posting it on YWS. This forum isn't a ...

Greetings, JFW1415, here's your line by line. :P Look both ways, make sure no one's watching. Good opening line. It establishes that the character is alone, and is probably about ...

Hey Kalliope! Here's your review. ^_^ OVERVIEW: To start with, even though you've posted two parts, it's very, very short. Short enough that you almost don't have enough even to ...

Hi! Interesting start to you novel, I could see how this could turn into a really awesome story. :P A few things though: I really didn't like the way you ...

Can I just say I love your writing? Something about it just flows so beautifully that it's really just a pleasure to read. Like Conrad said, I couldn't find any ...

I thought it was pretty good, although a little confusing. My biggest problem with this was with your description, especially in the first few paragrapsh. You were using way too ...

He ended their relationship in a message left on her answering machine. Kazimiera woke up to it, the blanket pulled up to her chin, Gabryel’s voice erupting from the small ...